Day 32.. how I did it and my story

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So… day 32. It may not seem like a lot, but it’s a lot for me. I’ve never reached 32 days without gambling in my entire life, and I’m currently 23 years old, almost 24 years old, and I finally feel the brain fog going away from my gamble addiction. And it’s all because of an old hobby of mine that I recently picked up… Here’s my story as of now:So, back before I got myself into gambling, I collected Pokémon cards. And I mean, a LOT of Pokémon cards. I bought packs in store and opened them, this actually falls under gambling too but I’ll get later onto that. I also had a big video game collection, which I sold when I was 21 (2018). At least I didn’t spend over €200 every month on gambling like I did a month ago. Back to where we were: I saw my sister gambling on a casino online when I was 16, she was playing slots and she won a huge amount when I was there. I was hooked, I tried to make casino accounts everywhere, but I couldn’t since I was 16, obviously. So I made up a fake identity and played under that. All went great, won some, lost some, until I needed to cash out. They asked for an ID, which I obviously didn’t have. I let the account for what it was and didn’t look back into gambling until I was 18.Fast forward to when I was 18 years old. The first ever day I was 18, I went to a local casino where I lived. They let me in, and holy smokes, I was excited. There were roulette tables, slots and much more that I could do and I was happy. Until I lost €20. It may seem like a really small number, and it is now, but for me, it was devastating to say the least. I lost my own money which I saved up for a week within 5 minutes… It hurt, I wanted to chase my losses and I couldn’t get my €20 back, instead it was €50 lost and I needed to get groceries… I lived on noodles and bread the whole week, and I decided to never do this again. Boy, was I wrong. Over the next two years, 2018-2019, I spent around €30 each month onto the casino, and that slowly became more and more. I sold my laptop, computer, TV, everything that I bought, went away to the casino. I still feel really bad about this, but I’ll get to that later on too.Looking at me right now, 2020 was the worst year gambling wise for me. Due to COVID, I couldn’t visit any casino since there’s a lockdown back then. But, online casino’s exist, so I decided to put in a lot of money over there… Around €400 combined in the last 2 months of 2020. I had a mental breakdown when I lost everything, and decided this needed to change once and for all. So I made a promise in 2021, to not gamble again. But how? Every time I had a bit of money, I would just throw it on Blackjack or the Roulette table. If you remember, back in the day I collected a lot of Pokémon cards and I thought: “I’m going to collect Pokémon cards again”. Now, with a binder full of Pokémon cards (that I bought seperately and a few packs when I felt like gambling) as a investment but mostly personal collection and me being a full month free of gambling, I feel better than I’ve never felt before. I’m not quickly pissed off anymore, I feel confident and I don’t have any urge of gambling anymore. And if I do, I just buy a pack of Pokémon cards or I buy a bunch of cards that I still need for my collection! I’m also actually saving up money that I have left over from grocery shopping, and I actually feel happy that I have money left over in the week.And the thing I’m most happy with, is that my family (mother and my sisters) see that I’m growing as a person. I hurted them a lot because of my gambling addiction and they’re still really careful. But I notice that my mother is a lot more relaxed when I visit her, simply because I don’t gamble anymore. I don’t want to gamble ever again, simply because it’s a big, big rabbit hole that you fall into. The first time you feel okay, but when you gamble more and more you fall into this big rabbit hole. And I don’t want to ruin my relation between me and my family anymore. I never borrowed any money from them, luckily, and I would never borrow any money so that I can gamble. It’s something that is strictly forbidden for me and I would never do this, and never did. Anyhow, thank you so much for reading this, I highly appreciate if you did. Let’s get to a full 2 months of being gamble free.


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